By Sherrie Cassel It’s so hard to not ruminate on the days leading up to Rikki’s death, when he was so sick and weak – and I was terrified. I try to not think about those things as the anniversary, the tenth, approaches. I just found myself doubled over in pain as a memory piercedContinue reading “One Tin Soldier”
Tag Archives: love
As stone is to flint
By Sherrie Cassel As my older brother riffled through our dead mother’s belongings, I sat and waited for his assault on my mother’s last belongings to be over. Her calendar of her days, when each of her children visited or she spoke with us on the phone were priceless items I could not part withContinue reading “As stone is to flint”
On this First Day of the Year
By Sherrie Cassel On this first day of the year, I pledge to honor my emotions as they arise, the good, the bad, and the infantile. Hey, it happens. On this first day of the year, I pledge to be like Michael J. Fox and Stephen Hawking, who, despite their challenges, continue to inspire. OnContinue reading “On this First Day of the Year”
Fashionably Late
By Sherrie Cassel Racing against the clock; it’s 11:28 p.m. I know, with eight billion people in the world, there are bound to be a few wistful, woeful, and wonderful missives saying goodbye to 2025, and so, here’s mine. I can describe my year as wonky and wonderful. I finally, after what has seemed likeContinue reading “Fashionably Late”
Wrapping it up
By Sherrie Cassel 24 days from today, I will navigate the tenth anniversary of my son’s passing: it’s a biggie. I’m not making light of it, trust me; for some reason, this one hits harder than even the first two anniversaries. I believe I was numb for the first two years, and then … IContinue reading “Wrapping it up”
With no particular place to go
By Sherrie Cassel 3 a.m. musings – and I’m wide awake, ruminating on craziness, on the rollercoaster of a 63-year-old life. I’m pushing Medicare age, and, yes, I’m hoping that in the two years I have until I’m “there”, there will still be Medicare. We’ll see. Health insurance, Covered California, while not ideal, is alsoContinue reading “With no particular place to go”
We each go grieving on and on, hurrah, hurrah!
By Sherrie Cassel Hokusai Katsushika (1760–1849) Cacti close shop for the winter. Cottontails hibernate. Coyotes come into neighborhoods because their prey has gone underground. Californians hustle and bustle all year round. Southern California has two seasons: perfect and a little less than perfect. I didn’t grow up with fiery hillsides of changing leaves or monthsContinue reading “We each go grieving on and on, hurrah, hurrah!”
Is it necessary to forgive — even posthumously?
By Sherrie Cassel Mom would be eighty-four today. I miss her so very much. We drove each other crazy — often; this is common in dysfunctional families, but…we loved each other fiercely; it’s called trauma bonding. Mom always liked to be the first person to call each of her children on his or her respectiveContinue reading “Is it necessary to forgive — even posthumously?”
Patterns of Imperfection
By Sherrie Cassel Triggers that awaken fears, mourning, rage, despair can be anything, really. Tonight, I was looking through a kaleidoscope, watching the patterns transform into fragments of uniquely and perfectly placed shapes and colors. I could never draw a perfect circle (for me). Even with the protractor, the spot where the pencil marks meetContinue reading “Patterns of Imperfection”
Whatever Gets You through the Night
By Sherrie Cassel Joshua Tree, California I’m making corrections for the revision of my book. It’s a mess, reflective of where my head and heart were at the first writing – lots of typos, blank pages, alignment issues, over-exposure. I just wanted it out there in the world. Initially and in retrospect, I needed toContinue reading “Whatever Gets You through the Night”
Grief to Gratitude 