Category Archives: Uncategorized

By Sherrie Ann Cassel I used to be chipper, nauseatingly positive, and I used to exude joy – even after a very difficult childhood. I am resilient. I have also just resigned myself to having lost my son, my precious only child, the love of my life. There are wrinkles around my eyes, and IContinue reading “When your child dies from addiction”

By Sherrie Ann Cassel My hair is blue. I am 57 years old, and my hair is blue. I also got a new tattoo. I got drunk with some friends a few months ago at a party. I hadn’t been to a party since Rikki died, a little over two months shy of the four-yearContinue reading “Searching for Home”

By Sherrie Ann Cassel I’m still digging parts of myself out from underneath the rubble of my former life, the life before Rikki’s death. Some days are better than others, and I’ve had a semi-nice run for a few days; however, like all of you, there’s a heaviness I know and have accepted, will clingContinue reading “Beyond Grief”

By Sherrie Ann Cassel Apropos of nothing — winds blow in the Joshua Tree area – no rhyme, no reason, no Santa Anas, just gusts of varying strengths, soft and gentle – and then forceful and fierce. Today the windchimes sound like an incessant phone ringing, like a teenage prank call, a ring and noContinue reading “Gusts”

He’s the first thought of every morning – and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. I gave birth to him. He was and is indelibly a part of me. Our blood, our very life’s essence, flows through us … all the way to our spirits – commingling, dancing in thatContinue reading “Raking leaves: An Irritation as Progress”

I am listening to New Age piano this morning…on what used to be our special day. Saturday morning coffee and talking until midday, oh, about every little ol’ thing. The day was timeless, and we were immortal, no need to rush through life. We had forever to catch up with ourselves, except – that turnedContinue reading “Saturday Morning without You”

By Sherrie Ann Cassel How many of you schedule your meltdowns? I do. Rikki’s been gone for nearly four years. I have grieved efficiently, and I continue to work my process – for the remainder of my life. I have proceeded, taken the next indicated step, found some momentum toward normalcy, certainly not the normalContinue reading “Pencil me in”

By Sherrie Ann Cassel Parents know by the sound of their baby’s cry when it’s time to feed him. You know his every whim – without words. I guess the ability to understand that kind of non-verbal communication and the ability to detect even infinitesimal changes in electrical frequencies and in our babies’ cries isContinue reading “Ignoring the Obvious”

By Sherrie Cassel Some days I feel an overarching sadness; it shrouds me and I just can’t shake it. I have gotten to the point where I just ride it out. I’m making friends with those things over which I have no control. We don’t get what we want all the time; and after theContinue reading “Reinstating Empathy”

by Sherrie Cassel Can you grieve for something you never had? I know that sounds counter-intuitive – and I really don’t want to bother with operationalizing my point, but how many of you have wished for something, maybe even a lifelong dream that never happened for you? Or…maybe a relationship you wish had been healthy.Continue reading “The old soft shoe”